The Magic Jar

The Magic Jar

Photo by: Abdul Rahman

You may not know it to look at me now, but I used to operate with a constant undercurrent of rage, every day.  I used to go looking for things to set me off, Hulk-like, so that I could rant and roil and knock stuff around.

That's what made football the perfect sport for me to play.  It was officially sanctioned violence, which fed my id like a slab of freshly killed zebra feeds a hungry lion.

Naturally, the trouble came in controlling these impulses.  And, just as naturally, finding the right girl represented the first step toward that life-changing goal.

After having met briefly at a college fraternity party, I doggedly sought her out to spend more time with her.  She knew of my reputation as a hothead, and at first said she didn't want to go out.  But somewhere deep inside, where the truth lives, I knew she was the one.  So I didn't give up, and eventually we began our courtship.

Things changed for me after that.  Before long, she gave me a jar containing strips of Bible verses, and asked me to pick out a piece every day to read.  That exercise not only made me want to strengthen my connection with her, but it also began to open my eyes to a new way of thinking, believing, and living - one that had little room for rage and lashing out.  The timing could not have been better, as well, as my college football career came to crashing end due to injuries and subsequent surgery. 

That magic jar changed my life, serving up little slips of scripture day after day.  The heart changes first, then the brain.  Living based on love, not fear, makes all the difference.

Be well,

Eric

Stop Starting from the Wrong End

Stop Starting from the Wrong End

Photo by: Steven Depolo

 

Large, muscular, tattooed to the hilt, and draped all in leather, the

Harley-riding Chopper Dude cut quite an imposing figure."This 

is bull!" he all but shouted, standing up and pointing a finger in my 

face during a local workshop.

"Well, I'm sorry you feel that way, but I respect your thoughts and
 invite you to stay with me a little longer," I replied, concentrating
 to keep my voice level and my emotions in check.  "I'm glad
 you're here.  Please stay and hear me out, and I would be happy
to talk more with you one-to-one afterward."

After the room had emptied and everyone had left for home, he ambled back inside, and closed the door.  We just looked at each other for what seemed an interminable amount of time.  Then, just as I was about to speak, the most amazing thing happened.

Chopper Dude began to cry.  And I mean he wept like he had never wept before.  Between gasping sobs, he tried to say what had affected him so deeply that evening.  In time, as he gained control of himself, it became clear.

"I never had somebody not judge me for what I thought before," he said.

Parents, teachers, bosses, and peers had nearly destroyed this man's entire sense of self-worth - because they never appreciated his starting point.  The place where his value truly rested.  They were doing everything backward, as this society is prone to do.

Most of us have been misguided, believing that we can change our lives by simply thinking differently.  We start from the premise that change begins by applying logic - and that's the wrong end at which to start.

No, change truly and only can begin with the unconscious mind, the mind that defers to the more basic - meaning the place that serves as the base, the foundation, of everything else - part of our being.  The place that people call the "gut."

To achieve lasting, meaningful, tangible change toward greater balance and happiness in your life, you have to deal with this unconscious level first.  And this is where a lifetime of negative conditioning must be reversed.  Let's stop doing things backward.

Be well