The Best Present

  The Best Present

            I’m reminded daily, especially from my children, of one of the greatest gifts you can give a person.  The funny thing is, it doesn’t cost you a dime, yet it is something we almost always overlook.  Several years ago, I was teaching a six-week class to a group of people.  As a result of the class, the participants became very close to one another and became great friends. 

Some time after the class, one of the participants lost a loved one.  When it occurred, I immediately received calls from the concerned group members asking for my opinion on what to do.  Most were searching for some kind of profound wisdom from me on certain steps or strategies to take to help their dear friend out in her time of grief.  Most of them were shocked by the simplicity of my answer, which was neither profound nor contained certain steps to take or things to say in this certain situation.  My reply was, “Do nothing.”  Most of them stated, “What do you mean, do nothing?”  To which I replied, “ What does she need right now?”  Which was responded back with, “I don’t know. That's why I'm calling you!”  Then, I explained myself.

You see, in this situation, they could have DONE several things.  They could have taken her something to eat, cleaned her house, taken care of her children, taken her flowers, given her money or an array of other things.  All these things are great to do.  But, sometimes we miss the simplest and most profound gift of all – our presence.  Sometimes in the midst of our doing, we forget to just BE.  In this case, each one of them just showed up to BE with their dear friend. 

A few weeks later, I received a call from the lady who experienced the loss.  I laughed internally with joy when the first thing that came out of her mouth was the appreciation she expressed for all her friends just showing up and “BEING” with her.  Some of them stayed for hours to just sit and listen, to laugh and cry with her.  Nothing else.  In her words, “I don’t know how they knew what I needed, but it was such a healing gift for all of them to just bring themselves.” Sometimes, we don’t have to do anything. We just have to show up. 

Sometimes we don’t have to give anything outside ourselves. All we have to do is give ourselves.  We just have to show up and BE.  I always say: the best present you can give someone is your presence.

Be Well,

Eric