The Costanza Effect
One of the unerring truths of life is that when we're stressed, we regress. As the little annoyances start to bubble up and cluster into big irritants, we have the tendency to blow our tops. Not only does this preclude a mature, rational approach to problem-solving, it exacerbates the situation.
When you're in a hole, stop digging. When you see a fire, don't throw gasoline on it. When the guy with the football has been tackled, don't pile on top after the whistle blows. Pick your cliché or metaphor, but you get the idea.
As people let stress steer them into a regressed mindset, I think of George Costanza from the "Seinfeld" show. In nearly every episode, life found a way to frustrate George into some level of frenzy, tizzy, and explosive outburst.
In one memorable story, Jerry was at a dealership looking to get a new car while George tagged along for moral support. Hungry from missing lunch, George spent the entire episode trying - and failing - to find something to eat. He just missed the last of the free donuts in the customer lounge, his Twix bar got stuck in the vending machine, and he became convinced that a mechanic came in after him and stole it. By the end of the show, George emits a primal howl to the universe in utter exasperation. He has completely regressed to the level of a shouting infant in a playpen!
Stress is, was, and always will be the number one issue in building and maintaining a healthy, love-based life. It does nasty things to us physiologically, as well as psychologically. Stress limits thinking and reason. The Seinfeld reference above treats it for laughs, but it can actually become quite serious, even dangerous. Stress stinks.
Look for ways to eliminate the sources of stress from your life. Think intentionally about how you react to situations, and choose to avoid stress. It takes a determined effort and lots of practice, but if you don't want to regress, you must limit your stress.
Be Well,
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