Friday, December 20, 2013

A Great Man, In His Own Words

A Great Man, In His Own Words
  
South Africa The Good News / www.sagoodnews.co.za 
[CC-BY-2.0 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0)]
via Wikimedia Commons
The world lost a titan of dignity, freedom, and courage recently, with the death of Nelson Mandela, who went from prisoner to president of South Africa, leading the cause that ended the formalized prejudice of apartheid there. 

Here are some of his quotes, which can serve as guideposts for a life well lived:

"For to be free is not merely to cast off one's chains, but to live in a way that respects and enhances the freedom of others."

"There is no passion to be found playing small - in settling for a life that is less than the one you are capable of living."

"Let there be work, bread, water and salt for all."

"Does anybody really think that they didn't get what they had because they didn't have the talent or the strength or the endurance or the commitment?"

"We must use time wisely and forever realize that the time is always ripe to do right."

"If you want to make peace with your enemy, you have to work with your enemy. Then he becomes your partner."

"If you talk to a man in a language he understands, that goes to his head. If you talk to him in his language, that goes to his heart."

"Education is the most powerful weapon which you can use to change the world."

"A good head and a good heart are always a formidable combination."

A pragmatic, realistic philosophy of mutual respect, high expectations, and working from a foundation of love and dignity.  How much better would our world be if everyone lived according to these principles?

Rest in peace, Mr. Mandela.  Well done.

  
Be Well,

Eric

Friday, November 22, 2013

Upcoming Event!

Upcoming Event!

"Getting Connected" Retreat 
January 2 − 4, 2014
6-9pm Thursday
 9am-6pm Friday & Saturday
 
LocationCamp Luz
152 Kidron Road
Orrville, Ohio 44667

*2 ½ days of training
*Lunch included Friday & Saturday
  
Center for Victory Intensive Retreat

The intensive retreat experience is time away from the pressures of the world to focus on new, practical models of breaking through barriers to achieve new success.
Participants are men, women, couples, fathers, mothers, wives, husbands and families - anyone seeking to achieve success by connecting to the personal power of their potential and their relationships.
Whether the focus is on parenting issues, relating to your spouse, improving family or work relationships or simply achieving ultimate personal success, this retreat experience is for you.
In a focused yet relaxed setting, retreat participants are able to connect personally with their potential and better understand the power of their relationships to enhance their success. Participants leave the retreat with a personal plan of action and a set of practical tools that enable them to make changes and create new successes immediately

Who Should Attend? 
* Couples
* Families
* Individuals
* Anyone seeking to break-through to a new level of personal success

*Attendees MUST be 15 years 


Speaker: Eric Guy, LSW
Eric Guy is the Chief Victory Officer of Center for Victory, your champion for success that sets free a more productive and efficient person. Eric, an experienced licensed therapist, focuses on discovering the victor inside each person-by recognizing and overcoming external sources of stress, lifelong conditioned responses to pressure, and the like-to unlock each client's personal and professional potentials.
 
What others say about this Retreat Experience: 
 
"Thank you so much. I would do the two days over and over again. Absolutely one of the most positive experiences I have yet to encounter. Thank you! Thank you!" - Denver father
  
"There is no way in the world that I can thank you for sharing your gifts and talents that initiated the internal metamorphosis in me . . . I can honestly say from the heart - not from my mind -that 
'I get it!'  - Idaho mother

 We look forward to seeing you there! 

~Eric

Save
$60
Early Bird Special!
* REGISTER BEFORE DECEMBER 13 to RECEIVE THE EARLY BIRD SPECIAL TO GET $60.00 off! 
Regular Registration Total Cost: $197.00   
Early Bird Special Total Cost: $137.00


The Costanza Effect

 The Costanza Effect
  
One of the unerring truths of life is that when we're stressed, we regress.  As the little annoyances start to bubble up and cluster into big irritants, we have the tendency to blow our tops.  Not only does this preclude a mature, rational approach to problem-solving, it exacerbates the situation.


When you're in a hole, stop digging.  When you see a fire, don't throw gasoline on it.  When the guy with the football has been tackled, don't pile on top after the whistle blows.  Pick your cliché or metaphor, but you get the idea.

As people let stress steer them into a regressed mindset, I think of George Costanza from the "Seinfeld" show.  In nearly every episode, life found a way to frustrate George into some level of frenzy, tizzy, and explosive outburst. 

In one memorable story, Jerry was at a dealership looking to get a new car while George tagged along for moral support.   Hungry from missing lunch, George spent the entire episode trying - and failing - to find something to eat.   He just missed the last of the free donuts in the customer lounge, his Twix bar got stuck in the vending machine, and he became convinced that a mechanic came in after him and stole it.  By the end of the show, George emits a primal howl to the universe in utter exasperation.  He has completely regressed to the level of a shouting infant in a playpen!





Stress is, was, and always will be the number one issue in building and maintaining a healthy, love-based life.  It does nasty things to us physiologically, as well as psychologically.  Stress limits thinking and reason.  The Seinfeld reference above treats it for laughs, but it can actually become quite serious, even dangerous.  Stress stinks. 
  
Look for ways to eliminate the sources of stress from your life.  Think intentionally about how you react to situations, and choose to avoid stress.  It takes a determined effort and lots of practice, but if you don't want to regress, you must limit your stress.
  
Be Well,
~Eric



Friday, November 15, 2013

Kenya Trip 2013

2013 KENYA TRIP

"Promoting Healing: Transforming 
the Inside to Champion the Outside"


Dear Friends , 

We have been blessed with a request to return to Western Kenya to help administrators and staff working with orphans who have come from some very difficult circumstances -- and you have the opportunity to play a vital role in this outreach.

From Nov. 22 through Dec. 6, our Center or Victory team will be at work with Love Unleashed, one of the four overseas Abba's Arms Ministry efforts supporting children at risk. Last year we had the chance to positively impact the lives of 2,500 children, and we hope to do the same this year.

Here's where you can help.  Tax-deductible donations to support this training can be made by clicking here:  


Enter your pledge under "Living Love Special Projects" and enter "Training and Consulting" in the box next to the dollar amount. If you would like to send your donation by mail, please send a check or money order to:

Love Unleashed
12002 Arnold Road
Orrville, OH 44667

We are indeed blessed -- you and I -- and it is our special privilege to reach out to these children, whose suffering comes through no fault of their own.  Thank you for your prayers and support as we prepare to return to Kenya.

Be Well,
~Eric

Monday, November 11, 2013

Friday, October 25, 2013

Enjoying Each Other's Company


 Enjoying Each Other's Company

Photo by: David Shankbo
It was announced this week that Tina Fey and Amy Poehler have agreed to host the Golden Globe Awards television broadcast for the next two years.  Now, admittedly, that's not the biggest news of the week.  The federal government reboot and debt ceiling Band-Aid took that title.

But the news about Tina and Amy does relate.  Here's how.

Healthy people have healthy relationships.  That covers physical, emotional, and mental health, by the way.  Tina and Amy, from their earliest days learning improvisational comedy, through their years together on Saturday Night Live, and on to their careers in series television and movies, simply enjoy each other's company.  They're friends and confidants to each other.  They have a strong, healthy, fun relationship - and it shows.  We enjoy watching them have a good time together.

And the outgrowth of that relationship dynamic has turned into lucrative careers for the two comediennes.  Good for them.

The denizens of D.C. could take a lesson from Tina and Amy.  The recent stalemate over debt and default, healthcare and closed national monuments, has brought the lack of healthy relationships into sharper focus than ever among our political leadership.

NBC host Chris Matthews, in fact, has written a book, "Tip and the Gipper: When Politics Worked," remembering how President Ronald Reagan and House Speaker Tip O'Neill (for whom Matthews worked as a staff member) were able to disagree and fight tooth-and-nail over policy - yet ultimately come to resolution and compromise for the good of the country. 

This happened because the two seasoned politicians knew the value of and maintained a personal relationship, and refused to be enslaved by a daily diet of continuous confrontation, accusation, and stalemate.

From the glamor of Hollywood, to the steps of the U.S. Capitol, and across kitchen tables from sea to shining sea, it all comes down to relationships.  When they are healthy, so are we.

Be Well,

~Eric

Monday, October 14, 2013

Can't We All Just Get Along?




Can't We All Just Get Along?


Photo by: Prayudi Hartono
Jimmy wanted to pitch when the gang decided to play a pickup game of baseball.  Problem was, so did Bobby.

"I'm a better pitcher than you'll ever be," Jimmy shouted in Bobby's face. 

"Oh, yeah?" Bobby retorted.   "Well, everybody else thinks you stink and you should be out in right field.  Waaaay out in right field, where you can't mess anything up."

"YOU ought to stay in the dugout - better yet, why don't you just go home and cry to your Mommy?" Jimmy sneered.

The two boys taunted, insulted, and irritated each other to the point where they ended up rolling around on the infield dirt, fighting each other over who would pitch.

After a few minutes of this, the other kids just walked away.  The baseball game never got off the ground.

It doesn't take much thought to parley this little story into the real-life slugfest in Washington, DC, which has led to a shutdown of the federal government.  But, just as true as it would be for adolescent boys on a ball field, these grownup fisticuffs should be every bit as avoidable.

All it takes is a willingness to understand where you're coming from, where the other person is coming from, and a path to get to where you're going together.  The world is built on relationships.  Relationships are built on respect, listening, applied knowledge, and compromise.

This ain't rocket science, folks. It's proven time and again in history.  And, best of all, it's contained within our own DNA, our conscience.

If they'd just talked with each other, instead of at each other, Jimmy could have pitched the first few innings, and Bobby the last.  They both would have gotten what they wanted and the game could have been played.  

Dialogue proves maturity, growth, and progress.  Since when did dialogue become a bad word?  Our leaders in Washington - are you listening?

Be Well,
Eric 

Friday, September 27, 2013

Eric Guy, Center For Victory - It Starts at the Unconscious Level

Unarmed and Fabulous


Unarmed and Fabulous

null
Photo by: Newtown grafitti
 
When Barbie Thomas, at the tender age of two, lost both arms after mistakenly grabbing the wires of a transformer near her Texas home 35 years ago, her mother decided that day that neither of them would ever fold, give up, or take the easy way out of any situation.

"I was not allowed to be negative and say I can't do something," Thomas told Good Morning America last week.*  "I was always taught to focus on what I can do, not what I can't do."

That advice may sound oversimplified.  Unattainable.  Borderline delusional.  Pollyanna-ish.  You may say to yourself, "Who lives like that?  Who can sustain such an attitude over the course of one's lifetime?"

But there's a difference between perpetually and foolishly wearing rose-colored glasses, versus making a reasoned choice to acknowledge the positive side of any situation and pursuing it.

The choice always exists.  The decision always can be made to go positive or negative.  Once you realize which way you are "wired" subconsciously, you can then consciously make the selection toward the positive, thereby placing your life immediately on the path toward greater health, balance, and peace.

It may not be the easiest process in the world, but it absolutely is the most rewarding.  Barbie Thomas would agree.

This real-life Venus de Milo, this mother of two teenage sons, contends at the national level as a fitness competitor - a form of athletic dance and conditioning that falls somewhere between pure bodybuilding and bikini pageants.  What's more, she has placed in the top five nationally, and recently earned the first-ever Inspiration Award from the National Physique Committee.

"We all have our own stuff to deal with," she said.  "Mine are just more visible.  I survived because God saw the bigger picture and had plans for me."

Choose the positive.  Choose success.  Choose to live the fullest, most abundant life possible.  It truly is your choice. 

Be Well,

Friday, September 20, 2013

Everything is Okay


Everything is Okay  
 
null
Photo by: Jonathan Lin
 
The feeling sneaks up on me occasionally, and I don't particularly enjoy it.  

I'll be in the middle of conducting a class with a group of participants, doing what I've become so familiar doing, when a wave of thoughts jolts across my mind.  

"Can I keep this going?  Can I sustain this level of performance?  Can I ensure that everyone here, all of these people counting on me, will receive something of power and value?"

It's normal, even healthy, to pose questions like these to oneself every now and again.  It keeps you honest and accountable.  It spurs renewed energy and effort.  It keeps you sharp, and away from the lazy, wasteful pitfall of routine and rote.

Yet when these thoughts scamper through my consciousness, normal as they might be, they still bother me, even if only a little.  That is, until I remember a greater truth.

Everything is okay.  
Everyone is okay.  
I'm okay, and so is the way in which I go about my business of interacting with clients.  

And why?  Because every person is built to succeed.  Every person has a champion inside.  Those who understand and appreciate this fact - and who operate from a platform of positive, accepting, love-based relationships with others - have nothing to fear.  Ever.

So respect those moments of self-questioning and use them to bring yourself even higher.  But never forget that you are - just the same as I am, and everyone else is - a champion inside.  

Built by love.  Built to succeed.

Be Well,

Eric Guy

Thursday, August 29, 2013

What is Your Listening Price Tag?


The Dollars and Sense of Respecting Emotions

Photo by: Jeff Powers

"The art of effective listening is essential to 
clear communication,and clear communication
 is essential to success." 
- James Cash Penney

The founder of the legendary   retailer JCPenney would not recognize his namesake today.  I contend that his descendants in leading the department store may have forgotten - or considered quaint, trite, or outdated - what dear old J.C. said all those years ago.

Too many leaders have a troublesome tendency to hear, but not listen.  
And "leaders" can be found not only in business, but in social circles, politics, and even the family.  Listening forms the basis for success, no matter what the context or the specifics of the situation. 

Yet the JC Penney of 2013 finds itself in what some are calling its death throes, with creditors expressing concern, board members bailing out, and customers hopelessly confused.  And why?  My guess is because the company stopped listening. 

It applied a logic-based strategy as the foundation of a turnaround initiative.  They acted upon the notion - assumed, actually - that consumers like things as simple as possible, so JCPenney eliminated all coupons and sales.  It has since retreated from that practice, but the damage has been done and there may be no recovery.

The retailer's leadership failed to appreciate the fact that the decision to buy works from the same emotion-based platform as the best approach to living in general.  Namely, that people operate at the most elementary level from emotion.  They stick with what they know and like.  We evaluate intellectually but act (and buy) emotionally.  Emotion is where lasting and meaningful change begins, not logic and intellect.

Center for Victory helps our clients understand this basic, core, rudimentary principle toward achieving peace and balance in their lives.  As the JCPenney Company is now realizing, real financial ramifications can be at stake, as well.  They should have listened - really listened - to James Cash.

Be Well,

Eric 

Tuesday, August 13, 2013

The Example of Francis

The Example of Francis

This past March, the world was electrified, as Pope Francis stepped out onto the balcony at St. Peter's Square after his election.  But the way in which Francis has electrified the world is quite different from his papal predecessors, and it's what makes his story so interesting and applicable.

Why has this pope been so enthusiastically received and his message embraced by Catholics and people of other faiths, in such a short period of time?  What makes Francis so different?  Could it be that his approach is purely based on helping other people, especially those less fortunate, and that he is demonstrating it so powerfully and so personally?

From the start, Francis has purposely avoided all of the magisterial trappings at his disposal.  He lives in a Vatican hotel, not the grand papal apartments.  He wears simple vestments.  He shuns the "popemobile," preferring to be close enough to people to reach out, touch them, pick up children and bless them himself. 

Francis recently declined to spend time at a formal concert and reception, causing some feathers to be ruffled.  He said his time was better spent working.  One of his first acts as pope was to visit with recovering addicts in a Rome prison. Even the name he selected honors Francis of Assisi, who lived a life of service to the poor.

Virtually his every statement and action reaffirms and demonstrates the need for love, respect, service, and building relationships with others. 

Love over fear. 
Compassion over aggression. 
Reaching out over shutting out.

These principles pave the way to personal peace.  You don't have to be the pope or belong to any specific organized faith community to know this or to live it every day. 

When we operate from a foundation of positive, loving relationships, great things can result.

Be Well,

Eric

Wednesday, July 17, 2013

Major Life Lessons Learned On the Way to the Ground


Major Life Lessons Learned On the Way to the Ground


It’s interesting how and when we receive the Major Life Lessons, or MLLs, as I like to call them.  I received some big ones on my way to the ground after falling off a ladder recently.

MLL No. 1: I should have known better.
All the warning signs were there, but somehow I forged on undeterred.  No one at the base of the ladder to secure it.  Me, climbing alone, carrying a 100-pound load, no less.  That little voice in my head, saying – no, screaming – “You shouldn’t be doing this.”  All of which led to…

MLL No. 2: Listen to the little voice and regroup as needed.
My friend asked me several times before they left that day if I was sure I didn’t need help, but I assured them all was good.  The little voice, even at that point, knew bad things loomed ahead.  I should have listened and put the proper safeguards in place.  But I didn’t, which led to…

MLL No. 3: Appreciate the importance of a firm foundation.
Once I crashed down to terra firma – dizzy, with no feeling in my arm, and a spectacular headache – I quickly realized and appreciated the firm foundation of family, as enjoyed on the compound we share.  My son called for help, my in-laws responded to care for the kids, and my wife arrived quickly to get me to the Emergency Room.  Everyone was concerned, but no one – including my son and daughter – became paralyzed by fear because we all were together.  They believed my parting words, because I believed them: “I’m going to be okay.”  What happened next led to…

MLL No. 4: A firm foundation requires deep roots and continuous attention.
I was able to leave the hospital that night on my own, with just a concussion and a badly bruised arm.  The docs x-rayed my arm twice, in fact.  They couldn’t believe it wasn’t broken, telling me, “You’re really solid.”  I knew my head was twice as thick as my arm, any day of the week.

But seriously, this episode, and how it affected so many people who rely on me, proved irrefutably that a strong foundation requires strong relationships with those we love.  And that this takes hard, ongoing, every day work.  It takes digging deep to find the firm stuff beneath.  The bedrock on which to build and strengthen relationships securely.

Life can throw us into the spin cycle at a moment’s notice.  It’s when when we feel out of control that we need to dig a little deeper, sometimes even into the pain, to discover and recover the strong foundation inside of us.

I wouldn’t recommend tumbling to the ground from a great height to internalize this message, though.  Been there, done that.  Just trying to save you the trouble, is all.

Be Well,
Eric