What's the "Why?"

What's the "Why?"

"People don't buy what you do, but why you do it."  So says leadership expert Simon Sinek, whose 18-minute TED Talk* on this subject from 2009 has been seen by nearly 19 million people, and has been translated into 42 languages.

  

With those sorts of statistics behind him, Sinek's theory must hold some serious water. I believe it does, and I believe in what he is saying. Sinek holds up Apple as an example of a company that has succeeded and flourished in an otherwise crowded market, for one simple reason.

According to Sinek's analysis, Apple doesn't sell products - whether they be Mac laptop computers or iPhones or iPads or AppleTVs. Instead, Apple explains its beliefs, and people who share those beliefs want to be a part of what Apple is doing. Those are the people standing in line for days, waiting for the newest Apple innovation to be released.

In other words, Apple doesn't promote what it does, but why it does it - and the stunning results it has reaped speak for themselves.

I believe the same philosophy applies just as strongly to interpersonal relationships as it does in business. It's not so much what we do that attracts other people to our orbit, but why we do it.

What do we believe in?

Why are relationships with other people important to us?

Where are the common bonds that make us happy, comforted, and loved?

It's not the "what," or even the "how" of our behaviors and decisions and outcomes that matter most. It's always the "why." And when we can start from that perspective and live based on that philosophy, relationships can blossom and grow.